ok so ive decided to sum up the experiences here.

firday: 1/23

ok, so first. Thankz mom. dropping off my formal attire saved my ass as i wouldve had to change into em again after jammin em into my gym locker. we left prob around 12:45. good planning on mikes part.

car ride: me, gillian, alex, cara. cara in front. generally fun. gillian believed i left her notebook at school (lol)

later that day…

we arrive and heres the fun part. its like 2pm! so the first round doesn’t start till 5! yay 3 hrs. so yeah, we wait and amuse ourselves. we hang, i played hearts (a game we need to finsh :$) and chilled. round 1 EVENTUALLY gets there and so we go. and we sucked. not only was i uncomfortable with the arguments, but our opponents were extremely good. (i belive they qualified for octafinals).  in between we got on the topic of worst pick-up lines. note to self: will can b funny as hell. this became the joke for the rest of the nite. round 2 went better, and we realized that con was the stronger of our 2 sides. me, liking our arguemtns better, found it 2 be easier. this round started at 9ish.

so by 10-10:30 we are at the restaurant. and tbh we’re all pumped yet tired as hell. we found out that we 3(5 if u count everyone around us) had influence on whatever the rest of the table talked about. keep in mind there are 20 kids here. its good t feel in better.

saturday:

home at 12:50. in bed 3 min later and tired as hell. asleeep barely after 1.

wake 5 and 1/2 hours later. damn im tired. yay adrenaline. shower+gt redy. at school by 7:35.

car ride: me, gillian, alex, cara. cara in front arrive at parking garage. alex decides to get out of car, so gillian locks door. alex then jumps in ym side and crushes us both. after a 1 minute brawl, it ends.

at clombia by 9ish. 1st round at 10. didnt start till like 1-:15 but w/e. this wait is a lil bit of a blur as im tired as hell still.

oh, i remember, cara tells me as i didnt dress up completely (tie in pocket, etc, etc) that i look like “a business man who went to a bar last night, got wasted, and ended up with a hooker.”

1st round went ok. wasnt tht good. i realise i should rewrite my arguments.

now ehres where it gets fun. alex and my thoughts : “hey lets wait for gillian and cara”

their thoughts” lets go back to the main building (lerner hall)”

so after realising they’re done with the round, we call em to ask where they are. aparently cara doesn’t understand that the building we’re in is called “the school” and thinks lerner is actually there. aftrer bout 10 min of lex trying to convince cara that there is only 1 elevator at “the school”, we realise they’re at learner.

1 cold walk back later…

we met up, whoo. cara u fail at directions. i rewrite most of my arguments and we have fun. this is where the “bases of a relationship” come into play. 1st-high five 2nd- hand shake 3rd- arm in arm. 4th-hug. furthermore, we need to take a debate picture. we complained a little, then gave in.

i convijnce georgia that alex and gillian were dating hahahahahahah WIN. freshman will believe anything.

4th round at 2. we annihilated them. alex was outstanding in this round and accomplsihed 2 things:

1. used the phrase “epically failed” in his speech. (we all just sorta stared at him thinking “did he really jsut say tht?”)

2. our opponents clearly do not care about the enviornment or the starving children.

back to lerner. yay they waited for us this time . so yeah i finish re-writing and we just hang out for a lot and goof off. o but 1 thing guys, we need a picture of us outside. cuz it looks better. we complain more, but they have their way. it was cold but fun. Ben contributed to littering and the 12% food risk with his parfait.

whoo final round. our opponents were nice, but our judge was out of it. she thought our opponents siad crap instead of crash. it went ok…

after: we all meet up in the cafeteria and our nopponents from round were hanging with us. they were flirting with me and alex. was funny. someone welse who i wotn name for their dignity was hitting on them. meanwhile, the rest of our team were playing a really loud and stupid game and gillian was taking funny pictures. one of which she wont put on facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gahh!

we go back, we laugh, we have fun. we have a 5 way on the bases of a relationship. (this was the basis for MANY MANY jokes.)

out to a run down pizza place. relaxing. most just wanted to go home. funny pics.

we go back to lerner to elt those who need to use a bathroom do it so we can go. we take a last group photo of us 4 (me, cara, alex, gillian) as we spent the majority of the weekend together.

car ride home: we have ben refesh page every 3 min to se who got into finals. as a result:” onlky simon and will did. only 1 tem form wilton.

im asleep by like 11. content. very fun.

sunday:

6:am will and simon are outside the school to go debate. (tom also goes to watch) rest of us are sound asleep.

they got knocked out first round by a 2-1 vote against em. DAMN U REGIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

questions? comments? concerns (which u probably have)? ask away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them
Sometimes I wonder why this is happening
It’s like nothing I can do would distract me when
I think of how I shot myself in the back again
‘Cause from the infinite words I could say I
Put all pain you gave to me on display
But didn’t realize instead of setting it free I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me

(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)

[Chorus]
(And now)
(You’ve become a part of me)
(You’ll always be right here)
(You’ve become a part of me)
(You’ll always be my fear)
(I can’t separate)
(Myself from what I’ve done)
(Giving up a part of me)
(I’ve let myself become you)

Hearing your name the memories come back again
I remember when it started happening
I see you in every thought I had and then
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them
And I knew as they escaped away
I was committing myself to them and everyday
I regret saying those things cuz now I see that I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me

(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)

[Chorus]
(And now)
(You’ve become a part of me)
(You’ll always be right here)
(You’ve become a part of me)
(You’ll always be my fear)
(I can’t separate)
(Myself from what I’ve done)
(Giving up a part of me)
(I’ve let myself become you)

(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)

(Get away from me)
Give me my space back you gotta just
(Go)
Everything comes down the memories of
(You)
I’ve kept it in but now I’m letting you
(Know)
I let you go so get away from
(Me)
Give me my space back you gotta just
(Go)
Everything comes down the memories of
(You)
I’ve kept it but now I’m letting you
(Know)
I let you go

(And now)
(You’ve become a part of me)
(You’ll always be right here)
(You’ve become a part of me)
(You’ll always be my fear)
(I can’t separate)
(Myself from what I’ve done)
(Giving up a part of me)
(I’ve let myself become you)

I’ve let myself become you
I’ve let myself become lost inside these thoughts of you
Giving up a part of me, I’ve let myself become you

(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

all these thoguhts running through my head.

what would happen if i dropped dead…

whats the point in living a life,

when all it brings is pain and strife…

no one is there on the telephone

day by day i feel so alone…

these are the thoughts in my mind

wasn’t in the contract that i signed…

but then came today…

when the world  began to say…

it loves me anyway…

and that it will be ok…

ok, this is my new sched and tbh its odd.

1. gym. a class of 10 sophs? wtf? and non of which r my freinds O-o

2. govt. wheelok, this is gonna be fun. more trouble makers than last sem. yay!

3. eng. same old

4. span… same old

5. free, thered everyone go? theres like 1/3 of the kids still in it…

6. chem. will be same old

7. vp. free on the first day? already liking this class

8. math…… i hate logs….

ok, so its early in the morn (6:50) and im tired. not the usual, but really tired heres why:

3:00am cat decides she wants to come into my room. starts rubbing against my door, making it rattle and waking me up. after waiting 5 min to see if she’ll stop, (she doesnt), i go let her in

3:05am cat wants to cuddle/be pet, so she keeps rubbing up against me. she keeps trying to fit inbetween my stomach and the edge of the bed, and i keep pushing her. she gives up about 10 min later…

5:00am now tabitha wants to get out of my room. solution: lets hit ryan’s cell phone and ipod off the dresser and wake him up. IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!! i let her out, and go bak to bed…

5:01-6:30 i wanted to get up then for itunes/studying, neithr of which i gonna do now. i keep wakin guop for no reason.

conclusion: im tired…. and angry…

ok, so. midterms suck. they really do. u sit there and take a stupid test thts obnoxiously long and half the stuff doesn’t even matter as you know a bnetter way to do it. logs are a bitch. i dont understand why isabel(the only person who reads this damn thing) tells me they’re so easy, cuz i hate them. they are really stupid, and i jsut dont see a point. this will never be used in reality unless ur a mathmetitian, something i doubt i will be (99.9999999999999999999999999%) i really hate them. however, at least someone was able to enlighten me today. i will not post their name as they will probably never see this so it doesn’t really matter.

so yeah, this “blog” if you will… i dont reallyt post alot as i dont really see a point. my poetry is sorta done, nothing new has been written nor do i want to write it. it was sorta a spur of the moment. correct me if im wrong?!!??!?

this might continue just for the rants/songs if they’re amusing. voice your opinion.

and you neglected I called you out don’t please
I said we’re stronger than this now
you resurrected mistakes years past it seemed
and they exist to still haunt you

and still you feel like the loneliness
is better replaced by this
I don’t believe it this way
and I can see the fear in your eyes
I’ve seen it materialize
Growing stronger each day

I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
don’t leave, don’t give up on me
two weeks and you ran away
I remember don’t lie to me
you couldn’t see that it was not that way
swear I never gave up on you

I wanted nothing but for that trust again
and brick by brick you would take it
You feared of phantoms and none exist but you
you still saw fit to destroy it

and still you feel like the loneliness
is better replaced by this
I don’t believe it this way
and I can see the fear in your eyes
I’ve seen it materialize
growing stronger each day

I could see it as you turned to stone
still clearly I can hear you say
don’t leave don’t give up on me
two weeks and you ran away
I remember don’t lie to me
you couldn’t see that it was not that way
swear I never gave up on you

and you neglected I called you out don’t please
I said we’re stronger than this now
You feared of phantoms and none exist but you
you still saw fit to destroy it

and I can see the fear in your eyes
I’ve seen it materialize
growing stronger each day

I could see it as you turned to stone
still clearly I can hear you say
don’t leave don’t give up on me
two weeks you ran away

I could see it as you turned to stone
still clearly I can hear you say
don’t leave don’t give up on me
two weeks and you ran away
I remember don’t lie to me
you couldn’t see that it was not that way
swear I never gave up on you

wow, wtf? the roads are covered in sheets of ice, and only a delay. school, u r dum. the roads wil not be tht much better in 2 hrs. and as my bus driver comes like 10 min late at least on snowy days, now were screwed. im gonna be late, and prob wontr get to skool till at least 10:30. that is bullshit. the buses shouldnt go out in these condtitions. with other school buses coming 40 min b4 mine, the roads will not be clear. this is going to suck….

welcome, this is my lair. make urself at home.

i am darkerpoet and i approve this message